stuffs on stuff

What the hell man, whenever I am dancing when no one is watching, my moves are always so fire! Why is there no one watching? The conundrum of my life, or actually even more accurate, when I make music when no one's recording, my music is dope! Why is no one recording? This is my life over and over again on repeat! Why? When no one is watching, when there is no critic, no eye, no ear, no nose (?) to judge, to bear witness. It's like that snake that you like to pet but bites you at the same time. How can this be? Without the pressure to perform, I can perform like a professional, but then with the pressure to perform, I buckle like a gingerbread house. Is that what sets the pros apart from the proles? Most likely. But knowing me, I want to talk around in circles about it until I figure out a way to make myself feel better.  When we dance and no one is watching, what are we doing? We know we are not being scrutinized. We know we are liberated from the observer, the panopti...

My older brother once told me, always be consistent. He gives really good advice normally, but that time wasn't so much my favorite. I am one of the lease consistent people ever, and I guess what I mean by that is that I cannot keep to a routine or stick to things very long. Whether it's waking up early, meditating, exercising, or even writing a blog (it's been almost one year since I wrote my last post) I suck at routines. I hate them so much that I would go out of my way to not have them. But now that I have been out of a traditional nine to five job for a couple of years now, I've been flirting with this desire for routine. I'd like to make a quick caveat here, that I prefer to use the term ritual, since for me the term routine implies a sense of dead repetitive movement, ritual for me implies an action with a living intention behind it. So this is a great topic to discuss in my (almost) one year anniversary, I initially thought to start out by recapping the ...